Here is a man. A very good (I leave the definition of good to your imagination), handsome looking and in his mid-20s. He does not do any job and has no plan to earn, nor ready for any business. And just knows and fully ready to be in your kitchen. Ready to get to your heart through the stomach!
He has no bank balances. No own houses. Open for marriage. In other words, presenting himself in the showroom of the Marriage market!
Parents? Girls? Women? Guys… Oops, sorry. No guys!
We live in a society, a beautiful society, that judges by looks. The one that never appreciates, but laughs at every fall. And society is made up of people like us. We people behave to be looked good in society, irrespective of how we really are.
Remember, even good food needs a good presentation!!! Law of attraction, anyone?
Before I continue, let me make one thing clear.
In today’s world, we all say Men and Women are equal. Yes, true. But they are like our own India. Unity in diversity. Yup, they are not the same, they are unique. Have different tastes, different likes, different capabilities.
No second thoughts to this. So, this is about a different point of view of how men are also different, and what is expected from them.
What does this society expect from us? Woman? Men?
Women, a lot has been discussed on what is expected from them. Some blame it is too much expectation, some justify, and whatnot. So, I do not want to get into that again.
Just a different (controversial???) view which I wanted to discuss on what’s the expectation from this wonderful society for a Man.
No, I am not getting into the expectation of women on their men to be like the King khan or Thala or Thalapathy or whoever! That calls for a completely different post along with the expectation of Men on their women to be you-know-whom.
A simple and basic expectation for a man is that he should earn enough & protect his family – Parents, Sisters, Brothers, Wife, and kids. There are many names for those who cannot earn his own bread, or protect his own family.
And that is why even today you find 1000s of young brothers leaving their family and relatives and travel far to do odd jobs. In a dream to get their siblings a good education, married to the so-called ideal partner.
No, I am not talking about those so-called breeds, the IT crowds, who travel in want to “better” options. I am talking about those who have no “other” options.
Earnings, this is very crucial when it comes to being a Man. Be it before or after marriage. In fact, I have seen and heard stories of women who are unmarried only because they were high on the pyramid at a young age.
Why are they unmarried?
Good question. Because they were looking for men who earn more than what they do. This is one extreme.
The other extreme is even more interesting.
They do not want someone who is not yet SETTLED. A single word “settled” hides a lot beneath it. It means he has a permanent job. If not, at least, a stable one in a reputed private company.
He has minimum wealth – material – not bondings like siblings. I am sure if someone watching the Kalyana Maalai or other matrimonial programs and ads will get this.
So, let us go back a bit and understand how this could have come into the society. I do not want to point anyone here. Let me, myself, be that someone.
I ask myself. I have two kids – Son and a daughter. I know it is a long way and could have any outcome. Whether they go my choice or not, its anyone guesses. Anyway, let’s explore.
When I think about my son’s marriage, I look for a good girl (definition of good, again I leave it to you) who is also educated. Work? Well, that’s optional. I do not mind even if she is not working or even not willing to go for work.
I replace my son with the daughter. I should agree, I am unable to accept the last option – nonworking. Even if he is good at cooking and ready to be in the kitchen with my daughter earning enough for their family.
Old School Thinking
So, this got me thinking. Am I still an old school? Maybe.
But I understand my responsibility to be a good parent for my kids. After marriage, anything can happen. But, that’s karma or fate.
Just because there is such a probability, does not mean we make it happen before marriage, right? We parents think to see how we can reduce the probability of such misshape happening.
How many females hate her husband who cannot earn the bread for the family? How many males hate his wife because she is not working? Do the math yourself.
Exceptions are always there in any society, and I do not want to rule it out. But, look for the percentage, and think again. I am not here to stereotype any men or women. But just a thought based on what is happening currently in our society.
How many females will be proud to be saying, my husband, is the home-maker? Interesting topic for a survey. Lol.
So, when society on a whole puts the oneness of taking care of the family needs when it comes to money on the man, it feels obvious that most women sacrifices their career compared to their man.
Like fashion and karma, everything is a cycle. Things will change, but slowly. And I believe this will change the day society looks at the man who does not earn with pride.
But will that happen? Million-dollar question.
Until then, our man in the marriage market has to wait. Hold on tight to whatever job or career he gets, without compromising it for anyone – including his own wife!